New Teacher Training Tips

Two weeks before I began teaching my first year, my county required me to go to two weeks of new teacher “training” (we will use this term “training” very loosely). 

What they were training us on for two weeks was how to watch educational videos, teach us how to fill out forms, play games, and “teach” us how to write lesson plans (we are also going to use the term “teach” very loosely).

Which one are you?

One interesting thing to note is that my first-year teaching was also my mother’s first year teaching. My mother and I were both going through the same new teacher orientation together. We both were going to complete our first year of teaching together. She was starting out as a 1^stgrade teacher and I a 7^thgrade teacher. We were going from one extreme to the other. 

Tag You’re it!

Another phase of training was game playing. 

That being said, the first day of training, the powers that be stated that everyone should stand up and “tell us about yourself” (apparently a favorite question among educational types). My mother and I were sitting next to each other and before we had the chance to tell about ourselves the superintendent introduced us as the “mother/ daughter team” starting out together. From that moment on we were known as that and that alone and people were always asking us “which one are you?” 

I don’t know about you, but if you can’t tell the difference between a 46-year-old and a 22-year-old I don’t think I want you teaching my children.

Maybe that’s just me.

Sign Here Please

The next thing we were to be trained on was how to fill out forms. They introduced a lady who was going to help us with this stating that she was “a genius on these matters and to listen to everything she had to say.” Throughout this lady’s instructions my mother kept whispering to me “this is wrong, everything she is saying is wrong.” We filled out our forms correctly while everyone else proceeded to get screwed by this genius they enlisted to “help” us. 

Wear your Safety Gear with PRIDE!

After three or more days of being trained how to sign our names we were treated to educational videos. I am now an expert on sexual harassment, confidentially, and blood born pathogens (that is unless nothing has changed from 1976 since those videos had been made). 

During these videos my mother and I also added another label to our “mother/daughter team” alias…troublemakers. 

During a blood born pathogen video a group of school employees are wiping up a huge river of blood in their lovely bright orange safety gear safely intact. At the end of this scene all the employees turn to the camera and smile broadly while waving their bright orange gloves while a voice over states “all employees need to wear their safety gear with pride.”

My mother and I began to laugh hysterically and LOUDLY for the next two sexual harassment videos. 

To this day I don’t know if it was the fact that the scene was so idiotically amusing; or if was nervous laughter at the fact that we were quickly coming to realize that we were being sucked into hell. 

Either way, the other new teachers were not amused by our blatant disregard for safety. 

Now when my kids are laughing hysterically when someone says “nuts” or “breast” in one of our selections I look back on this event and try to give them a little bit of leeway. 

This was personally my favorite part of the training because of how wonderfully it was executed. 

For about three days teachers were separated into different rooms and different teams while a quote unquote expert lead us in a series of educational games. The point was to give us knowledge on how to teach our subjects in a new and exciting format. This would have been extremely helpful to us new teachers. However, would, is the operative word in that sentence.

Here is why:

1.    The experts leading the games didn’t seem to comprehend how to play the games much less TEACH how to play them.  

2.    High school. Junior high, and elementary people were grouped together and the experts did not explain how the games could be translated across the levels. 

3.    When teachers would become frustrated because they didn’t understand the rules of the games and would talk amongst themselves to figure them out they would be reprimanded by administrators. 

At the end of the game playing days the room would be silent and subdued. Everyone would just wait for the one person who was still intrigued in the games to exclaim “BINGO” or “YAHTZEE” or whatever to signal that our torture was over.

Reflection:

I have done the "new teacher training thing at various schools since this memorable first year. Let me give you a few tips. 

1. The #1 lie they tell you at new teacher orientation is,“We’re here to help you.” They are in fact there to judge your every move, facial, and body expression. I know that sounds harsh and scary and they will NEVER admit to it, but it is true. Smile a lot, ask people questions, place yourself into larger groups and make yourself known. These people who are training you are basically "spies" that will report back to the rest of the staff your every move. You want to make a good first impression!

2. They are going to try to rush you through the paperwork process. I would suggest doing what you feel comfortable with at the school, but taking the rest home and research (or talk with someone you trust) the rest of it. You don't want to rush through tax forms and insurance forms....trust me on this one!

3. Even though it is going to suck, play the damn games and play your heart out.